Colbert: Iran's Response To Unconditional Surrender Demand Was 'Metal as Hell' #Political
In June, CBS’s Stephen Colbert did a celebratory dance when CNN cast doubt on the success of Operation Midnight Hammer. On Monday, The Late Show host was at it again when he described Iran’s response to President Trump’s demand of unconditional surrender as “metal as hell.”
Colbert began, “It's unclear how long the war will continue, because this weekend, Trump said the war will only stop after Iran's ‘unconditional surrender,’ to which Iran replied, ‘That's a dream America should take to their grave.’”
According to Colbert, “that's spooky and metal as hell.”
Stephen Colbert reacts to Iran saying Trump's unconditional surrender proclamation is "a dream America should take to their grave" by quipping "Okay, that's spooky and metal as hell." pic.twitter.com/MB67HApUnI
— Alex Christy (@alexchristy17) March 10, 2026
It should be noted that by unconditional surrender, Trump does not necessarily mean that there will be something like a signing ceremony on the deck of the Missouri in Tokyo Bay. He has also defined it as simply destroying Iran’s military capabilities.
Nevertheless, Colbert continued and cued up a clip of Trump, “After Iran surrenders, Trump wants to pick their next leader, as he said on Air Force One.”
In the video, Trump declared, “We don't want to come back every five years or every ten years and do this, so we want to pick a president that's not going to be leading their country into a war.”
Colbert quipped, “When can we pick one of those?”
After the excitement from the audience died down, Colbert proceeded and eventually brought out his Trump impression while also going after Eric Trump, “There are some candidates for the job we know Trump doesn’t want. Last week there were rumors that the new supreme leader would be the second son of the former supreme leader, but Trump said, ‘Khamenei's son is unacceptable to me.’ ‘It can't be. Look, it cannot be. There’s no way it can be Khamenei's second son. His mouth is all gums, and he had to repeat kindergarten three times. No, wait, that's my son. That’s my second son.’"
It is not a secret that Colbert does not like Trump, but that does not mean he has to hype Iran’s press releases.
Here is a transcript for the March 9 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
3/9/2026
11:37 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: It's unclear how long the war will continue, because this weekend, Trump said the war will only stop after Iran's "unconditional surrender," to which Iran replied, "That's a dream America should take to their grave."
Okay, that's spooky and metal as hell. Is there any more to that statement?
[Disturbed clip]
COLBERT: Thank you, cleric Disturbed. After Iran surrenders, Trump wants to pick their next leader, as he said on Air Force One.
DONALD TRUMP: We don't want to come back every five years or every ten years and do this, so we want to pick a president that's not going to be leading their country into a war.
COLBERT: When can we pick one of those? There are—way ahead of me. They’re way ahead of me. We were all jumping for that joke at the same time. There are some candidates for the job we know Trump doesn’t want. Last week there were rumors that the new supreme leader would be the second son of the former supreme leader, but Trump said [Trump voice], "Khamenei's son is unacceptable to me." "It can't be. Look, it cannot be. There’s no way it can be Khamenei's second son. His mouth is all gums, and he had to repeat kindergarten three times. No, wait, that's my son. That’s my second son."
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